Modern Day Shakespear

Lifeless

2010-06-14T22:18:00.005+08:00

I hate lifeless people. People who bothers too much in other people's life. I mean, in a negative way. As for an example, a 27 years old sister who can't stop ruining her 16 years old brother's life. I never had a younger brother or a sister but that doesn't mean I don't know how a sister should be to her younger siblings. I am a sister to some. I am being protective as well, but I'm still flexible. At least I use my brain before I do or say something.

I don't think bitching about siblings behind their back is necessary especially when the siblings are innocent. I can't understand why a 27 years old sister can be so hateful to her 16 years old brother. Can you make me understand? Come on, he is such an innocent brother, he never even interfere in her life, but why is she behaving like a bitch? 27 years old, for God's sake! At that age, she is matured enough and should act like an adult. Why so kiddish?

Seriously, she should love her 16 years old brother. There's always a limit for everyone, even as a biological sister. She can always advise if there's anything wrong, but obviously not by slandering him. So what even if he has a girlfriend? What's so wrong? If that what makes him happy, then let him be. And as a sister, she should guide him, always make sure that he's on track. As long as he doesn't neglect his studies, what's so harmful? Okay maybe the break ups will. All in all, I think she should get to know who is the partner in the relationship before she burst all the bullshits. It makes me think, why some people act as if they never been a teen before?

Maybe some people will say, 'I was once a teenager but I never had a girlfriend. I think it is not necessary. Studies is more important.' Of course honey. But hey, are you aware of the variety in people's life? Everybody's not the same. So does life. Don't blame your brother's hormone. Again, PLEASE look at the BRIGHT SIDE. Yaw at least your brother is not a gay! No matter how smart you are academically, but if you can't see what life is about, you ain't very smart then.

P/S : You can get many A's for your exam, but that doesn't mean you're ahead than others.

Something from the bottom of my heart

2010-06-14T00:16:00.003+08:00

I don't know the way you handle your life. I don't know the way you think. But I know something, you want a better life. Who doesn't? Life is difficult but we can handle it well if we have enough faith, enough strength, enough knowledge on what to do and what not to do.

Some have a good life, some don't. No matter how good one's life is, shits will still happen. Have you ever come to a moment where you started asking yourself and people around you, why you have to face all the shits? Why can't you get a good life? Why all sorts of shits always happen to you, not others? Even I asked that to myself before. But now I've stopped asking. I learn that God is testing us. How much faith we have to face them all. He granted us this life, so don't ever think of ending it. There's a reason why He chose us. Maybe you even said to yourself, that its better if you're not even born to this world. Hey look at the bright side. Aren't you thankful enough to born physically well and have your brain functioning? To know those lovely friends that you have? To get to see the beauty of His creation? Don't fret to that level because we already here, in this world. With us, we carry a responsibility as His creature. So carry it well. Life is not a complete pain in the ass. It can be beautiful and it is not impossible.

I don't have a good life where money is never an issue or parents who will back you up when you have problems with teacher in school, or a family to dine together at the dining table, vacation every school holidays. No I don't. Honestly, I compared my life to my friends lives, who said they have family problems, I honestly feel that mine is the most bad. And at the same time, I know there's worst than me in this world. I've told one of my friends, I haven't met anything like mine. But that is not a reason for me to fail in this world, that is not a reason why I have to be out of control. How rebellious you wanna be to your parents? They're getting older and if its not now for you to behave and be matured, so when? I think you should take a day off and stop complaining.

Love. Always seem to be our biggest problem. Either its love in a relationship, or others, it is still a problem when you can't get enough of it. Before you reach 21, love is always unstable. You couple up with someone the next minute, and a month or earlier later, its gone. But not all gonna be like that. Sometimes even when you're just 16, but you have a very long relationship with your loved one. Its been years. I'm happy for you because I myself never had it. I'm trying to achieve it now, at the age of 19. So what happen if the relationship that we have for years starting to fall apart? Even worse, there's nothing else left that you can do to save it, so you gotta let it go. Gone. I've been through 24 break ups, 4 of them hurts me damn deep. I know I have to move on. As time flies, I learn that if the one is not for you, then it is not meant for you. It is hard to let it go, so hard to live without the loved one. But you should believe in destiny. If its yours, eventhough it's gone now, it'll be yours in future. :) This is not a false hope, this is what it is. Jodoh pertemuan di tangan Tuhan. Sama juga dengan ajal dan maut.

I know that all of us don't have the same level of strength, patience and optimism. I am not an optimist for sure. Looking at the bright side is different. That what makes me think that life is not a path to neglect. Walk through it and don't stop no matter what you've been through. You will see a glitter of light and you'll start smiling. Pray to God, don't forget Him because He is the one who helps us. :)

Songs songs songs!

2010-06-13T23:21:00.002+08:00

If you're looking for an energetic song to shake yo booty, I swear you gonna like Take your Shirt Off by T-pain. It's from the movie Step Up 3. I downloaded it yesterday, and I simply love it. It makes me dancing like mad. It will make you feel the same too. :D

If you're a fan of electro music, then try listen to Squeeze It by Dj Frank ft. Tiesto. Its awesome!

If you like pop song, you can try listen to the songs by Kate Voegele. I suggest that you should listen to Devil In Me and No Good, if you just have your heart broken.Trust me those two songs can give you the strength to move on. :) But if you're in love, listen to Wish You Were Here. Kate Voegele is the singer who act as a singer in One Tree Hill. The one that Hailie and Peyton tried to make her a star. Kate Voegele is not just a very pretty singer, but her talent is amazing.

Kate Voegele

For R&B lovers, listen to Unappreciated by Cherish. It is quite an old single, but who cares? Music never die. Cherish is a group where all the members are sisters. They are sisters, I mean siblings. I like them. Their voices are so euphonious. Really. First time I heard them, I thought it was a single lady who sang it. Actually, it is a group. You can't tell which one is singing because they sound almost the same. Only way to differentiate it, maybe its the vocal.

Cherish

So peeps, enjoy! :)

STEP UP 3- Coming Soon!

2010-06-12T15:27:00.005+08:00

I always love to watch Step Up. Step Up 1, 2 and soon enough- Step Up 3. :D If you asked me, I like Step Up 2. Maybe because it's more real and wild. Honestly, I've watched Step Up 2 more than 20 times. I watched it on DVD because I ain't got the chance to catch it in cinemas. T_T

I love the main actress in Step Up 2. Briana Evigan is just so neutral. She's kinda a bit boyish in the Step Up 2, which is what makes me love her MORE. :D

Pretty!

I already viewed the Step Up 3 trailer. I think I'm gonna love it. I'm not sure whether I'll love the main actress in it, but whatever it is, Briana Evigan is always in my heart. ;) And ohh! The main actress in Step Up 3 is Sharni Vinson. She look quite alike Briana but Briana's a lot prettier. This Sharni Vinson is an Australian actress and also a model. I couldn't embed the trailer video here because it has been disabled, so I'll just share you the link.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WQeaAg62_xY

Sharni Vinson. Briana's prettier or Sharni? You tell me.

Rick Malambri as the lead actor

Adam Sevani as Moose! He's my favorite! :D

Sharni's voice sounds like Briana, and I can see that her style of acting in Step Up 3 as if she's duplicating Briana's act. Hmm. Anyway, the music in Step Up 3 has some element of electro. Sounds good to you? I like it. :)

I can't wait to watch it this August! Step in into the cinemas with a bucket of popcorn! So..who wants to be my partner for this movie? :)

In cinemas, August 6, 2010

How Do I Breathe

2010-06-11T01:04:00.000+08:00

I want you to come back, I miss you so bad
Nobody can accompany me better like you did.
I've been missing my other half for two years
Seems like everyone have their own pair here.
I'm tired of sharing, now I'm complaining,
And to all of you, you can't ask me to take it easy no more
Because you don't feel it, now you wanna talk more?
I never did like to whine,
I always accept things and felt fine.
But now I don't, just for a night,
I've changed since you been gone
The reason why I enjoyed being alone,
Hear my soul weeping, nobody knows
I chose to shut it down before it shows.
Now I'm letting out a piece of it,
Let the rest lies between me and the Creator.

Pimples? NOOOOOOOOOO!

2010-06-08T21:47:00.001+08:00

Some people have pimples and some don't. Some people have pimples on the face, and some even have it on the body. Tension kan? Nak apply make up on the face pun risau sebab takut nanti pimple tumbuh lagi banyak. Facial wash pun dah tukar, tapi kenapa masih ada pimple? GRRRRRRR!

Chill laa sayang.. Come, let me tell you why. :)

Pimple is one type of acne. Acne ada 6 jenis. They are; congested pores, whiteheads, blackheads, pimples/zits, cysts/deep pimples ataupun dalam BM, jerawat batu.

These blemishes occur wherever there are many oil (sebaceous) glands, mainly on the face, chest, and back.

You can do a lot to treat your acne using products available at a drugstore or cosmetic counter that do not require a prescription. However, for tougher cases of acne, you should consult a physician for treatment options.

No one factor causes acne. Acne happens when oil (sebaceous) glands come to life around puberty, stimulated by male hormones from the adrenal glands of both boys and girls. Sebum (oil) is a natural substance which lubricates and protects the skin, and under certain circumstances, cells that are close to the surface block the openings of sebaceous glands and cause a buildup of oil underneath. This oil stimulates bacteria (which live on everyone's skin and generally cause no problems) to multiply and cause surrounding tissues to become inflamed.

Inflammation near the skin's surface produces a pustule; deeper inflammation results in a papule (pimple); deeper still and it's a cyst. If the oil breaks though to the surface, the result is a "whitehead." If the oil accumulates melanin pigment or becomes oxidized, the oil changes from white to black, and the result is a "blackhead." Blackheads are therefore not dirt, and do not reflect poor hygiene.

Here are some factors that don't usually cause acne, at least by themselves:

Heredity: With the exception of very severe acne, most people do not have the problem exactly as their parents did. Almost everyone has some acne at some point in their life.

Food: Parents often tell teens to avoid pizza, chocolate, greasy and fried foods, and junk food. While these foods may not be good for overall health, they don't cause acne or make it worse. Although some recent studies have implicated milk and dairy products in aggravating acne, these findings are far from established.

Dirt: As mentioned above, "blackheads" are oxidized oil, not dirt. Sweat does not cause acne, therefore, it is not necessary to shower instantly after exercise for fear that sweat will clog pores. On the other hand, excessive washing can dry and irritate the skin.

Stress: Some people get so upset by their pimples that they pick at them and make them last longer. Stress, however, does not play much of a direct role in causing acne.

Hormones: Some women break out cyclically, but most women (and men) don't. Some oral contraceptive pills may help relieve acne, but unless a woman has abnormal menstrual periods and excessive hair growth, it's unlikely that hormones play much of a role in causing acne. Pregnancy has a variable effect on acne; some women report that they clear up completely, and others get worse, while many others see no overall change.

Cosmetics: Most cosmetic and skin-care products are not pore-clogging ("comedogenic"). Of the many available brands, those which are listed as "water-based" or "oil-free" are generally a better choice.

In occasional patients, the following may be contributing factors:

Pressure: In some patients, pressure from helmets, chinstraps, collars, suspenders, and the like can aggravate acne.

Drugs: Some medications may cause or worsen acne, such as those containing iodides, bromides, or oral or injected steroids (either the medically prescribed prednisone or the steroids that bodybuilders or athletes take). Other drugs that can cause or aggravate acne are anticonvulsant medications and lithium, which is used to treat bipolar disorder. Most cases of acne, however, are not drug-related.

Occupations: In some jobs, exposure to industrial products like cutting oils may produce acne.

What other skin conditions can mimic acne?

Rosacea: This condition is characterized by pimples in the middle third of the face, along with redness, flushing, and superficial blood vessels. It generally affects people in their 30s and 40s and older. There is sometimes no "bright line" separating acne from rosacea; however, there are no blackheads or whiteheads in rosacea.

Pseudofolliculitis: This is sometimes called "razor bumps" or "razor rash." When cut close to the skin, curly neck hairs bend under the skin and produce pimples. This is a mechanical problem, not a bacterial one, and treatment involves shaving less (growing a beard, laser hair removal.) Pseudofolliculitis can, of course, occur in patients who have acne too.

Folliculitis: Pimples can occur on other parts of the body, such as the abdomen, buttocks, or legs. These represent not acne but inflamed follicles. If these don't go away on their own, doctors can prescribe oral or external antibiotics, generally not the same ones used for acne.

Gram-negative folliculitis: Some patients who have been treated with oral antibiotics for long periods develop pustules filled with bacteria resistant to the antibiotics which have previously been used. Bacterial culture tests can identify these germs, leading the doctor to prescribe different antibiotics or other forms of treatment.

When should you start to treat acne?

Since everyone gets acne at some time, the right time to treat it is when it bothers you. This can be when severe acne flares suddenly, mild acne that just won't go away, or even when a single pimple decides to show up the week before your prom or wedding. The decision is yours.

What can you do about acne on your own?

Think back to the three basic causes of acne and you can understand why the focus of both home treatment and prescription therapy is to (1) unclog pores, (2) kill bacteria, and (3) minimize oil. But first a word about...

Lifestyle: Moderation and regularity are good things, but not everyone can sleep eight hours, eat three good meals, and drink eight glasses of water a day. You can, however, still control your acne even if your routine is frantic and unpredictable. Probably the most useful lifestyle changes you can make are to apply hot compresses to pustules and cysts, to get facials (see below), and never to pick or squeeze pimples. Playing with or popping pimples, no matter how careful and clean you are, nearly always makes bumps stay redder and bumpier longer. People often refer to redness as "scarring," but fortunately it usually isn't in the permanent sense. It's just a mark that takes months to fade if left entirely alone.

Open the pores

Cleansing and skin care: Despite what you read in popular style and fashion magazines, there is no magic product or regimen that is right for every person and situation.

Mild cleansers: Washing once or twice a day with a mild cleansing bar or liquid (for example, Dove, Neutrogena, Basis, Purpose, and Cetaphil are all inexpensive and popular) will keep the skin clean and minimize sensitivity and irritation.

Exfoliating cleansers and masques: A variety of mild scrubs, exfoliants, and masques can be used. These products contain either fine granules or salicylic acid in a concentration that makes it a very mild peeling agent. These products remove the outer layer of the skin and thus open pores. Products containing glycolic or alpha hydroxy acids are also gentle skin exfoliants.

Retinol: Not to be confused with the prescription medication Retin-A, this derivative of vitamin A can help promote skin peeling.

Kill the bacteria

Antibacterial cleansers: The most popular ingredient in over-the-counter antibacterial cleansers is benzoyl peroxide.

Topical (external) applications: These products come in the form of gels, creams, and lotions, which are applied to the affected area. The active ingredients that kill surface bacteria include benzoyl peroxide, sulfur, and resorcinol. Some brands promoted on the Internet and cable TV (such as ProActiv) are more costly but not really any better than ones you can buy in the drugstore.

Benzoyl peroxide causes red and scaly allergic skin in a small number of people, which goes away as soon as you stop using the product. Keep in mind that benzoyl peroxide is a bleach, so do not let products containing benzoyl peroxide leave unsightly blotching on colored clothes, shirts, towels, and carpets.

Reduce the oil

You cannot stop your oil glands from producing oil (unless you mess with your hormones or metabolism in ways you shouldn't). Even isotretinoin (Accutane, see below) only slows down oil glands for a while; they come back to life later. What you can do is to get rid of oil on the surface of the skin and reduce the embarrassing shine.

Use a gentle astringent/toner to wipe away oil. (There are many brands available in pharmacies, as well as from manufacturers of cosmetic lines.)

Products containing glycolic acid or one of the other alpha hydroxy acids are also mildly helpful in clearing the skin by causing the superficial layer of the skin to peel (exfoliate).

Masques containing sulfur and other ingredients draw out facial oil.

Antibacterial pads containing benzoyl peroxide have the additional benefit of helping you wipe away oil.

What are other things you can do for acne?

Cosmetics: Don't be afraid to hide blemishes with flesh-tinted coverups or even foundation, as long at it is water-based or oil-free (which makes them noncomedogenic). There are many quality products available.

Facials: While not absolutely essential, steaming and "deep-cleaning" pores is useful, both alone and in addition to medical treatment, especially for people with "whiteheads" or "blackheads." Having these pores unclogged by a professional also reduces the temptation to do it yourself.

Pore strips: Pharmacies now carry, under a variety of brand names, strips which you put on your nose, forehead, chin, etc., to "pull out" oil from your pores. These are, in effect, a do-it-yourself facial. They are inexpensive, safe, and work reasonably well if used properly.

Toothpaste? One popular home remedy is to put toothpaste on zits. There is no medical basis for this. Ditto for vinegar.

P/S : Wanna know more about how to get a healthy skin? To be continued. :D

Uban

2010-06-08T21:18:00.001+08:00

Kalau cabut uban, orang kata nanti uban akan tumbuh lagi banyak. Ya ke? Kalau cabut uban, nanti rambut baru yang tumbuh tu warna asli rambut kita. Ya ke? Sebenarnya, tidak.

Rambut mendapat warna dari sejenis kimia yang dipanggil melanin, yang dihasilkan oleh sel melanocyte dalam folikel rambut kita. Sel-sel tu akan mati pada umur yang tertentu. But it's different for everyone. But once sel-sel tu dah mati, rambut kita dah tak dapat kekalkan warna yang asal dan kemudian folikel rambut kita hanya akan tumbuh uban je.

Selalu kita dengar ada yang cakap kita dapat uban sebab kita fikir terlalu banyak. Ya ke? Saya rasa saya fikir lagi banyak daripada kawan-kawan saya yang dah beruban, tapi saya tak ada uban pun? Haha. Dan ada kawan saya, dia tak bagi orang cabut uban dia. Dia cakap uban tu bawa tuah. Ooo begitu eh? Okay okay saya tak tarik dah. Tapi saya tak janji laa. :D

America's Loony Laws

2010-06-07T14:22:00.004+08:00

In Oklahoma, dogs must have a permit signed by the mayor in order to congregate on private property in groups of three or more.

It is illegal to walk down the street in Maine with your shoelaces undone.

In Pennsylvania, it is illegal for a man to purchase alcohol without written consent from his wife.

In Nebraska, a parent can be arrested in his or her child can’t hold back a burp during a church service. It is also against the law to sneeze in a Nebraska church. Meanwhile in God-fearing Alabama, it is illegal to wear a false moustache which causes laughter in church.

When a man meets a cow in Minnesota, he is required by law to remove his hat.

In Texas, it is illegal to take more than three sips of beer at a time while standing.

In Ohio, women are prohibited from wearing patent leather shoes in public. In Cleveland, Ohio, it is illegal to catch mice without a hunting licence.

In California, it is illegal to threaten a butterfly, let alone kill one.

In North Dakota, it is illegal to lie down and fall asleep with your shoes on.

No store is Providence, Rhode Island, is allowed to sell a toothbrush on a Sunday. But they can sell toothpaste and mouthwash on the Sabbath.

In Atlanta, Gerogia, it is forbidden to dress a mannequin without first pulling down the window blinds. It is also illegal to tie a giraffe to a telephone pole or street lamp.

It is illegal to spit into the wind in Nebraska.

In Kansas, it’s against the law to catch fish with your bare hands.

In Oklahoma, it is illegal to get a fish drunk. You also risk arrest, a fine or a jail sentence if you are caught making “ugly faces” at a dog.

You may not eat cottage cheese after 6pm on a Sunday in Tampa Bay, Florida.

In California it is illegal to peel an orange in your hotel room.

In Milwaukee, residents must keep pet elephants on a leash while walking them on public streets.

In Atwoodville, Connecticut, it is illegal to play Scrabble while wailting for a politician to speak.

In Mobile, Alabama, it is illegal to howl at ladies inside the city limits.

In Muncie, Indiana, it is illegal to carry fishing tackle in a cemetery.

In Chicago, it is illegal to go fishing while wearing pyjamas.

It is strictly against the law to allow lions to run wild on the streets of Alderson, West Virginia.

In New York, a fine of $25 may still be levied for flirting. This old law prohibits men from turning around on any city street and looking “at a woman in that way”. A second conviction for this crime requires the offender to wear a pair of racehorse blinkers whenever he goes out!.

A law at Kirkland, Illinois, forbids bees from flying over the town.

In California, it is illegal for anyone to try and prevent a child from playfully jumping over a puddle of water.

In Tusla, you may not open a soda bottle without the supervision of a licensed engineer.

An Ohio law states that pets have to carry lights on their tails at night.

In Florida, women may be fined for falling asleep under a hair dryer. And men may not be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown.

In Vermont, it is illegal for a woman to wear false teeth without first obtaining written permission from her husband.

In Massachusetts, snoring it prohibited unless all bedroom windows are closed and securely locked. In the same state, goatee beards are banned unless you pay a special license fee for the privilege of wearing one in public.

A law in Kansas reads: “When trains meet at a crossing, both shall come to a full stop and neither shall proceed until the other has gone.”

In Iowa, it is illegal for a kiss to last more than five minutes.

At International Falls, Minnesota, it is illegal for a dog to chase a cat up a telegraph pole. Owners are liable to be fined.

It is illegal to carry an ice-cream cone in your pocket in Kentucky.

P/S : I checked one of the laws above, unbelievably, it is true. :O Well, not all are true.

Water goodness.

2010-06-07T13:53:00.002+08:00

Need a reason to drink water? Water is essential to good health -- and life. Up to 60 percent of an adult’s body weight and about 74 percent of a newborn’s body weight is water, making it the largest single substance in the human body.

Here's what water does for you:

It helps carry nutrients to all the cells in your body.
It helps carry waste products from the cells.
It is a part of essential reactions within the body.
It helps regulate body temperature by absorbing heat generated by your metabolism and eliminating excess heat through sweating.
It helps with digestion of food.
It helps lubricate your joints.

Your body must balance the amount of water lost with the amount it gets from food and beverages. About 80 percent of the water you take in comes from the water and beverages you drink; the remaining 20 percent comes from food. A small amount of water also is produced when your body metabolizes foods.

How much water do you need? That depends on your age, percent of body fat, general health, diet, temperature of the air around you and your level of activity. You lose water through urine, sweat, feces and the air you exhale.

The Institute of Medicine (IOM) suggests that the average healthy woman drink about nine cups a day of liquids, and the average man, about 13 cups a day.

Dangers of dehydration

Usually, your body balances the amount of water you consume with the amount of water eliminated. The organs mainly responsible for this balance are the kidneys. They do this so well that the amount of water in your body does not change more than 0.2 percent of your body weight over a 24-hour period. Certain circumstances such as prolonged physical activity, high air temperatures, high fever, diarrhea, trauma and burns increase the amount of water lost. If you don't replace that water, you become dehydrated.

Dehydration can influence your mental functioning, your heart rate, and your ability to regulate body temperature and blood pressure. If you lose even 1 percent of your body weight in water, your physical performance is affected and you feel tired. If you lose 2 to 4 percent, your mental functioning is affected; a loss of more than10 percent of your body weight is a medical emergency and if not reversed can lead to death.

Infants, young children, people with certain chronic health problems and elderly adults are more susceptible to the effects of dehydration.

You can become dehydrated by not consuming enough fluid from foods and beverages. These are conditions that also can make dehydration more likely:

Sweating during exercise that is not compensated by drinking extra fluids; exercise even in cold weather can cause sweating
Hot, humid weather
High altitude, which causes raid breathing and increased urine output
Illnesses such as poorly controlled diabetes, and illnesses that cause vomiting, diarrhea or fever
Pregnancy
Certain medications

Each of these conditions alone can contribute to dehydration; a combination of them can cause it more quickly.

Although caffeine does cause you to urinate more frequently, the effect is short-term and, according to the IOM, does not cause dehydration. Both caffeinated and non-caffeinated beverages can be used as sources of water.

Alcoholic drinks also can make you urinate more frequently, but, like caffeine, this increase is short-term and does not cause dehydration.

If you eat a high-fiber diet, you will lose more water through feces, but not enough to cause dehydration. According to the American College of Sports Medicine, a high-protein diet requires slightly more water to remove waste products created by the extra protein. The extra fluid lost in this process does not cause dehydration under normal circumstances, but it may increase dehydration in athletes who limit their fluids in order to lose weight.

Symptoms of dehydration

A dry or sticky mouth, caused by too little saliva.
Less urine than normal, or no urine for eight hours. Urine that is darker than usual may indicate dehydration; diet, medications and vitamin supplements can also affect urine color.
Few or no tears.
Sunken eyes.
Dry, cool skin.
Fast heart rate.
In infants, a sunken fontanel, the soft spot on the top of the head, may mean dehydration.
Lethargy, irritability or fatigue.
Listlessness or coma; this is a sign of severe dehydration.

WATER IS ALSO ESSENTIAL IN OUR DIET. SO MAKE SURE YOU DRINK MORE WATER!

Dreams

2010-06-06T09:31:00.003+08:00

Have you ever dreamed about something and you didn't wanna wake up?
Because when you wake up, the dream will end.
And you don't want it to end.
Why? Is it because you prefer to live in the dream more than the reality?

I dreamed of my dearest Nicole Tan Yan Doh twice.
They felt so real.
I slept longer just to dreamed it more.
The first dream was about her coming to my neighborhood, my neighborhood has changed so much.
There I saw her, by the sea.
There's no sea here of course, but as I said, my neighborhood has changed so much in that dream.
We talked, we had fun, we laughed.

Two days ago, I dreamed of her again.
She gave me a surprise, she didn't tell me that she's back.
Again, we hung out, and the next day I called her to asked her where to meet.
But I couldn't reach her.
Did she give another surprise by going back to US without telling me?
I didn't like that.
:'(

AHHHHH

2009-12-26T00:52:00.000+08:00

Personality Disorder Test Results

Paranoid	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Schizoid	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	74%
Schizotypal	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	58%
Antisocial	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	38%
Borderline	\|\|	10%
Histrionic	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	38%
Narcissistic	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Avoidant	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	54%
Dependent	\|\|\|\|	18%
Obsessive-Compulsive	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	46%

Take Free Personality Disorder Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

15

2009-12-26T00:23:00.002+08:00

Atmosphere, the clouds, the sky
Breathe the same air, shelter under the same sky
Stare at the same clouds, where are you?
Peace into my mind, though I'm not feeling fine.
Drought for 2 years, will it be the third?
He's my 23rd.
Sky, be the witness for this senses
Clouds, bring along this torn pages when you crawl
Slowly, clear it all when you spit the rain out.

Are you a T or an F?

2009-12-08T00:40:00.004+08:00

Feeler Defined

If you are an F or Feeler, you’ll base your decision making around your values and emotional clues. Feelers trust their gut and care about how actions make them feel or others feel. Feelers are easy to spot due to their warm and friendly nature often labelled as people persons.

Thinker Defined

If you are a T or Thinker, you’ll base your decision making around practical, objective criteria. Thinkers appear cold and reserved often seen as the anti-social at a conference or meeting as thinkers are more interested in finding practical solutions to problems as that is why they came in the first place. Thinkers like to be labelled realists.

Feed your curiosity with below descriptors :

Thinker
Makes decisions based on logic Objective and analytical Uses impersonal criteria for decisions Easily reprimands people Firm minded, skeptical Holds to policy Good at finding flaws Important to be right Does not need harmony When pleased, may say nothing May hurt feelings unintentionally May appear cold, unfeeling, aloof What you say is more important than how you say it!

Feeler

Decides based on how it will affect people
Is it right, wrong, good, bad?
Subjective criteria, situational
Avoids confrontation
Personal and warm, trusting
Makes exceptions as needed
Good at finding assets
Important to please people
Wants harmony with others
Gives frequent positive feedback
May take impersonal remarks personally
May appear illogical or over emotional
How you say it is as important than
what you say!

So, are you a thinker or a feeler? Or maybe a feeler who thinks or a thinker who feels? :)

Be true to yourself.

Words

2009-12-07T23:53:00.002+08:00

Some said I'm good at words. Yeah? Idk about that because what I know is that I speak my mind. I'm completely true when I write words down. I'm not much of a blogger, because if I am then I would update my blog everyday. I'm here for my lovelies. I dedicate my post to them. You know who you are. I keep my thoughts more to myself and to the blank paper. I enjoy much of a privacy. Maybe that's the reason why I prefer private party more than clubbing. Aha.

I'm in love with words. I would marry words if I could. I actually like reading dictionaries because I find it interesting, don't you think so?

Words are never enough. Words can kill and heal. Words are magic. Its funny sometimes when words can get you mad and the next moment words can soothe your soul too. Sweet words are like honey, healthy for the mind and good for the soul. So use your words wisely.

Don't waste your words when you know it's not worth it. You get what I mean?

Let The Sunlight In

2009-10-11T13:48:00.003+08:00

The first thing I noticed in the image above is the boobs. HAHA. Right, I am explicit. My first impression was, 'Did the cartoon suffered from breast cancer?' :D Okay cut the crap off. It's show timeeee!

Shits happen in our everyday life. It makes us feel weak and when we feel weak, we feel like giving up. I've been through the dark stages over and over again. It's like a life cycle. We can't escape from our fate and we also can't change it. So what do we do then? I shall say, choose for your own fate. Yes we can choose fate. We got to think thoroughly before we act. We should know about the circumstances for what we do. Bad act will obviously ends with bad fate and vice versa. So do you understand now by what I mean we can choose our own fate? Good. Destiny is a different thing.

Usually we whine and fret about life. We just can't stop complaining about what has happened. When tragedy happen, it leaves us in sorrow. Terrible heartache, numbness, heartless, cold, nightmares, trauma, and some people can't take all the pain anymore till they think of committing suicide. But hey, freeze your brain and continue reading. Why want to commit suicide? Lets look at the bright side. :)

List out your painful memories that still bothering you. List out your happy moments that you wish it won't ends. Is your painful memories list longer than the happy moments list? If so, lets clear your thoughts. Everyone wants to live in happiness. You too, you can. Trust yourself. Ask yourself, do you want to cry and live in sorrow everyday? Do you want to cut yourself till you're 50? I don't want to, that's why I've promised to myself that I will stop eventhough its hard. I can stop if I put all my effort to stop, I must try. My friends told me that people can help me but if I refused to help myself, nobody can help. What about you dear?

Amy baby. We both are cutters. This habit made us talk to each other for the first time and since then we're best of friends. I saw the new cuts on your hand last week. That time I felt sadness creeping in me. I guess now I understand what my other friends feel when they saw new cuts on my hand. Non-cutter don't understand why we cut. That's why we get offended or angry when they talk to us about it. Now, Yusniza Dyana, your friend that you assume angel, a cutter for years, is advising you to stop.

Nightmares, loneliness, sorrow, numbness, disappointment, all the things that put you into darkness will end if you want to end them. God chose us and gave us these souls. Life is an endless task, we have the responsibilities to carry on. We don't have the rights to end our lives, the right to do so is only in His hand. You can't say I don't understand, because you know I always understand you. Try to understand your hand, it's in pain. I talked to my hand before, I remember I apologized for abusing it. I pity my hand, I pity myself. One bad habit is enough.

If you keep saying no to yourself, if you didn't fight and put all your effort to stop, then it will always be the same. You told me once before that you were born like this, weak. Let Faiqah and me be your root then. You couldn't say that nobody loves you, because you know it's a big lie. I'm ashamed of myself if I can't help you to stop cutting because if so, I'm not your angel or even a good friend. I was a tempered type of person but the temper is reducing. At least I'm not firing to everyone anymore. Because I know it brings no good. If you need a motivator, you know who to find. I'm never busy till I got no time to reply my lovelies. Hold on, life at home is soon to end. It takes time to stop a habit, but never stop trying. Less and less and you realize one day that you already stop doing it.

Burn the curtain that have been blocking your mind and let the power of light in. You know I love you Amy.

P/S: If you're stress out, stop for a second and think, if what bothering you will affect you in 5 years time, then you gotta do something about it. But if what bothering you will just affect you in 5 days time, then just put it aside and make joke out of it. :D

Promise?

2009-10-09T18:04:00.006+08:00

1. 'I promise I won't leave you.'
2. 'I promise I will take care of you.'
3. 'I promise I won't hurt you anymore.'
4. 'I promise I will always love you.'
5. 'I promise I will change and be a better person.'

Words. Stop for a while and think. How convincing can promises be? When someone promise you this and that, at first you will doubt them based on your past experience. Right?

People said that words are cheap. Personally I think, just because some busted child didn't keep their words, so that's why words are cheap. Lets flip the coin. Since everyone is different, we can't accuse somebody for cheapen their words because some people really mean what they say and they really want to prove their words, but unfortunately they don't know how to. Really?

Yeah. Some people have a very low self esteem, they don't know how to act. In their mind they're afraid that they will get the negative feedback. This type of person actually need someone to motivate them. To find a really good motivator is quite hard. At the end of the day, the low self esteem guy/girl will just keep their intentions to themselves. Words are not proven. Can you blame them for that? Do they cheapen words on purpose? You tell me.

Hey, when you promise someone on whatever matter, it means that you believe you can do as what you've promised. I know that some people make promises because they want to convince people around them. They want to comfort them. Frankly, to me, promises are not convincing at all. I know you feel the same. ( I can see you nodding and muttering 'yesss'. HAHA )
So make sure that you are able to keep your promise before you promise anyone anything. Never abuse promises. You don't want to feel disappointed, do you? Then don't disappoint people around you unless you've been disappointed first by the same person.

In some cases like playboy or playgirl, promises to them are nothing. It's just like blowing candlelight on the cake. Promises are the candles and the soul is the cake. Just to satisfy the soul and to put a smile on somebody's face. The next minute, the candles will be pulled out from the cake. There goes the promises. Gone away.

If you love somebody, don't just on words. Anyone can talk but not everyone can show it in action. So say it and show it. There's nothing to regret as long as you've tried your best. :D

21st Ex-Boyfriend

2009-10-09T17:30:00.000+08:00

You didn't apologize for what you've done
You never appreciate me and my effort
You can flirt with thousand girls and still act innocent
I thought we can be friends, that's what you wished for before
But your ego is controlling you.
You walk with pride, only you know what's inside
Your behavior is like a pain in the ass
I begged you not to leave me before
You even promised me that you won't leave
Now it's clear that your words worth nothing.
I won't beg you not to leave anymore
Because I know you don't love me no more
Since you have many girls in your stock
It'd be very dumb of me if I want to beg you again
If you wanna leave, that's okay with me
All the answers for my questions are well explained
The reason why you never want to call me,
Obviously you have to save your credit because there are many other girls in your client list
First you said you want me, and next you betrayed me
I had enough of your game
Remember that life is karma.
I sincerely wanted to help you, but you keep talking dude
What you know is to deny, why never want to clarify?
It is supposed to be like a merry-go-round
I tried to find the love that can never be found
You took me for granted, it's too late to be regretted
You played me well, I fell
I didn't cry this time, not at all
I hoped for you to changed, to grow up, I never gave up
I guess I thought wrong.
Run as far as you want, I won't catch you anymore.

P/S: You said you hate girls, but they are just gorgeous. Be a gay then, jerk.

P/S: What did girls do to you? Or specifically, what did I do till you hate girls? Nothing. You are the cause of everything.

Heartthrob

2009-09-25T15:52:00.004+08:00

This week is still a bliss with her presence. Even though we only had the chance to meet twice during this holiday, but every tick of the clock that we spent together are superb. We managed to celebrate Raya together as we wished. :D

I don't know what to do if you didn't come back for Raya. Luckily you did. When I said Raya this year sucks real bad, come to think of it, Raya this year is also the best. It sucked to be in this house for Raya this year because I've no idea why mother is behaving that way this time, but it was awesome to celebrate Raya with few of my dearest, like you.

We first met on the first Raya since you left to Bandung to further your studies. I came late due to the you-know-what problem and there's no way I want to cancel our 'date' just because of some goddamn problems. Meeting and spending time with you is my priority. I told myself on that day that no matter what, I will make it to your house. I remember you told me about the spaghetti sambal before you left. I remember our wish to celebrate Raya together, YES WE DID IT!

Nevermind that we couldn't bake cupcakes for Raya together, and yes I didn't manage to bake you fresh cupcakes before you go back. I'm sorry. I promised A some cupcakes too, unfortunately my brothers finished it all. Didn't know Raya this year will be hectic. Will bake and bring some when I visit you in Bandung soon. Gotta work my ass to study hard so that I'll get good results and obviously its easier for me to go there as a reward for my good results. Aha.

We ate a lot kan this Raya? HAHA. Your sis asked both of us to finish the nasi impit, rendang ayam and meehoon. But I couldn't take it anymore because I had a lot of your mum's delicious spaghetti. And the sambal. Can't believe I finished it. I guess if its spicier like last time you said, I will still finished it. I don't care. I love hot & spicy food. Yummy~

The second time I went to your house which is on Wednesday after Ieha's open house, it was your mum's turn to asked us to finish the rendang. HAHA. I still remember when your mum put a lot of meehoon in your relative's plate. I am still laughing when I type this. LOL

After makan-makan session is over, we started curling on the couch and sembang-sembang. Had so much of laughter and there was a very serious sembang session too. Babe, I know how sickening it is when it comes to that problem. I know sometimes you feel like wanna shout to their face. Just remember this, they are old and dying soon. I might sound cruel but we both know that that's an undeniable fact. Moving on to the next chapter, we always laugh our heart out when we talk about Adam. HAHA. I laughed so hard till ROFL. I was so tired already after makan-makan session, tired till my brain is dead crazy. We worried about my dad kononnya mogok. Rupanya he was busy. Hee.

You're a super-friend. The time and our memories are priceless. Let me tell you the truth, I can never afford losing you. You're important and will always be one. ILY. Till we meet again. Keep in touch.

Hurtful Habit

2009-09-25T13:28:00.011+08:00

When people first met me and if I was wearing short sleeve, they will notice my hand before anything else. Some people tried not to stare, most people can't help it but keep their eyes on my left hand.That is unwanted attention and trust me, I don't cut because I want attention and I don't cut because of guys. To most people, they can say ' She just said that she doesn't cut because of guys but the truth is vice versa.' Well, you can say whatever you wanna say. I know damn well why I cut my hand and I don't need to explain in details. If you keep stressing that I just making up story to cover the truth, then it's your choice to believe my words or not.

I've been a cutter for 5 years. There are 2 types of cutter ; 1 is emo cutter, 2 is a sadist cutter. Personally, I think I'm a sadist cutter. I don't really cut when I'm sad, but I cut a lot when I'm very angry and I try to control myself from harming those who set me on fire. I know that there are people who think that I'm a psycho. I know many people are afraid of me because of that but even if they didn't see my hand, they are still afraid of me for some reasons. LOL.
I look fierce because I barely smile. Hell. I laugh a lot though, laugh hard like a mad cow. :D
Anger, frustration, confusion, hatred. I press the blade into my skin before I slice it in. Sometimes I even heard the hiss sound when the blade sliced my flesh. It is scary, very. Even I feel scary when I reminisce the moment, I can still hear the hiss. The pain in my chest is unbearable, I've faced too many fears till my heart is so numb, and the other side of me is mocking me and I ended up cutting myself. Girly girls, I know my left hand is ugly, I know the skin is not as smooth like yours, hell, like I give a damn. I ain't slicing your skin.

I tried to stop, I do want to stop. I managed to stop for quite long but recently I started it again. Damn me. I tried linking this terrible habit to something else, like smoking. But it seems like the desire to cut is stronger. Smoking is not good too but at least its not hurtful. I already stop smoking months ago. Yeay me!

I know you love me, that's why you scolded me when you saw new cuts on my hand. I didn't mean to make you mad, I didn't mean to make you sad. I'm really sorry. To know that my dearest lovelies are far away from this place, it is just so hard. Scolding and cursing is not the way to handle cutter, no matter they are emo or sadist cutter. What people don't know is, to handle a cutter, you should take their mind away till the desire to cut is fading. Its a challenge but its worth trying.

I know I'm strong enough to stop, but to kill the sadism in me is like an impossible thing to do. A slice to keep me alive.

Iloveyoubabes.

P/S : Don't cut just because I cut.

Kindly Unspoken

2009-09-24T13:37:00.004+08:00

You think I did you wrong, you think I played you like a fool
Without realizing you are the one who do so.
You flirt and twist your words around, remember that the earth is round
The beast will come and get you.
You said you will give all your love, you said you're loyal
I guess your words worth nothing.
You kept asking me to leave, you kept saying I deserve someone much better
I've swallowed the pain and the bitter.
You said you're still a kid, you don't have any experience
I gave you everything you need but you act like you're not in need.
You kept me in your closet, you said you won't be fine without me
That is just another lie from you.
You said you will take a good care of me, you said I've changed you
At the same time you're looking for somebody new.
You kept denying, you tried to convince me
I won't buy another promise.
You pretend like an innocent child, you act like you're pure
You claimed you're the shy type, you said you don't know how to tackle a girl
I've seen it with my eyes, now your insecurity eats you alive.
Ask your momma, I'm your karma.

Here Comes The Eid!

2009-09-19T22:07:00.008+08:00

Happy Eid everyone! :D
I hope Eid this year would be a meaningful Eid. I want to celebrate this year Raya with those who I call 'lovelies'. Money is not my priority for this Raya. I wanna collect memories. The unforgettable, sweet, happy memories. I want to kiss the hands of the love and apologize for all my wrong doings. I hate arguments with mother every Raya. God, give me the thickest armor at heart. I want a smooth Raya this year. Not another teary celebration. Happy Raya to me. :)

What A Week!

2009-09-13T12:20:00.004+08:00

Last week was quite shitty. I was already in F-ed up situation and then Pn. Rasidah added more stress. WOW. Thanks teacher. Maybe she thinks that my mother is like normal mothers, who will sit me down and talk properly. I'm sorry to say that you're wrong, teacher. But whatever, I'm not here to condemn her or my mother. Madam Tan met me on Friday, she gave me a book of beautiful poems. Very sweet of her. She said she wants to meet me after school tomorrow. She asked me not to worry because she just want to be someone who I can share things with. She's great. I'll come back to SMI to pay her a visit after I leave school. :D

I already know how the procedure gonna be during the heart-to-heart session. But I'll bear in my mind that I'm not allowed to talk about the darkest memories. Let's just keep it to myself yaw! Haha. My lover ( I can't address him as my boyfriend because he will complaint 'Boyf? I'm just your boyf? I don't call you my girlf. Kawan perempuan I yang lain pun I panggil girlfriends jugak. Takkan you panggil I boyfriend? Kawan lelaki you yang lain pun mesti you panggil boyfriend jugak kan.Ini sepatutnya special.' ) HAHA. Okay laa wahai Nazriel. So back to the story. My lover is getting better. I think. He's a baby. Who can bring tearful joy and also traumatic pain.

Nicole Tan Yan Doh, I promise you I'll study hard and smart to get good results and then fly to your place. I miss you a lot. It's been a year we didn't see each other. Damn.

A Girl With The Numb Heart

2009-09-13T09:43:00.000+08:00

She didn't mean to behave that way
In her heart she knows its wrong
What a confused soul can do?
Pressure hits her from every direction
She ends up with a numb action
Sin, deeds, trust, love
Can we do the calculation?
A soul who needs some attention
But she knows she doesn't deserve any
Because everybody thinks she's strong
Her mind questioned,
No words came out from her lips
And it goes on for a while till she fell asleep.